My Beautiful Undoing

Reclaiming Truth

December 21, 2016 2 Comments

Many of you know my testimony and how I struggled for several years with sexual impurity and immorality. I was caught up in this cycle of running to God and asking Him for forgiveness, only to turn around the next minute and cast Him aside for a fleeting moment of pleasure that would leave me feeling empty. For a time, I was able to dissociate myself from the reality of my behaviour. I was numb, but in my mind that was better than feeling the weight of guilt and shame on my shoulders. And it was certainly better than having to face God; fearing that He would be angry with me and no longer love me because of my actions. I don’t know what your struggle is but I can tell you that pretending it doesn’t exist won’t make it go away. In my case, preventing myself from feeling, led to depression and when that became too much, I tried anything that would make the pain go away. Counselling, self-harm, drinking…nothing seemed to work.

I was so far from God and because I didn’t yet know Him as my Lord and Saviour, my skewed perception of Him hindered me from having my “prodigal daughter” moment. I thought that I was too far gone to be saved. Just as I was about to give up, God met me in my brokenness and took me on the most amazing journey! He transformed my life and restored my heart as He revealed Himself to me in a way that words can’t explain. As His Spirit filled me, I was overcome with such joy! I was no longer shackled by the chains of my mistakes but was walking in freedom alongside Christ. This is my prayer for each and every one of you.

Though I am truly amazed by the work God did in me as He took me from point A to point B, there’s a lot that happened in between. One of the biggest lessons that I learned was that I had to reclaim truth my life. In Romans 1: 22-25, it speaks of God’s wrath against the wickedness of humanity and how we willingly exchanged His glory for idols; forfeiting the Truth for lies. Why would we do that? It doesn’t make sense to exchange immortality through eternal life with God, for the mortality of living for this world. Yet somehow we find ourselves in these cycles, where we’re doing just that. This is why we need to die to our sinful nature and allow for the Spirit of God to take control (Romans 8:13). How do we do that? By taking back what is rightfully ours and returning those lies to the enemy in exchange for God’s Truth.

This is so much easier said than done. Personally, I enjoy spending a lot of time in worship and not enough time in prayer or reading the bible. Though worship is an amazing way for me to connect with God, I do see the value in studying the Word and so I’ve challenged myself to grow in this area. Setting aside time, every day to sit down and unpack a few verses or scripture at a time. Honestly, sometimes I struggle with this because I simply don’t feel like it. There are many times when I rather be watching YouTube videos than having my quiet time with God but I truly believe that establishing this habit now will greatly benefit me in the future.

What about you? How do you feel challenged to practically reclaim truth in your own life?



  1. Zoë

    February 4, 2017

    This is such a beautiful post.

    • Kairah

      February 4, 2017

      Thank you!

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