My Beautiful Undoing

Dear “That Girl”

January 31, 2017 2 Comments

Dear “That Girl”,

I see you.

Hiding behind appearances and big smiles. Masking the pain behind those eyes. Trying to hold it all together.

I see you.

Stumbling upon that which can’t be unseen. Letting pleasure become your drug. Always seeking the next high. Slowly losing control. What used to be fun, you now despise. But you can’t stop it. In too deep. Addiction.

I see you.

Longing to be seen. Craving their attention. Slipping through the cracks. Falling in with the wrong crowd. Everything fades to black. Pressing the blade against your skin. Depression.

I see you.

Scrolling through the photos. Wishing you were like those other girls. Wanting it for all the wrong reasons. Comparison.

I see you.

Leaving the house after dark becomes routine. You walk the streets trying to find the face of the guy you’re supposed to meet. Heading back to a home that is not your own. One, two, three times. Losing count. Crossing the line. Haunted by the idea that they’re the best that you deserve. You’re the one who answered with “I don’t knows” when you should’ve said “no”. Shame.

I see you.

Feeling dirty. Wishing it could all be washed away. Trying to get your mind off of replay. Wondering if it’s really okay not to be okay. Guilt.

I see you.

Desperately needing love. Unaware that love had already come. That He stood in your place and won. That He has given you the victory. And though you live in bondage, you’re already set free. Jesus.

I see you because I used to be “That Girl”. Wanting to feel loved but looking in all the wrong places. Becoming numb to all the faces and places. Wanting out but not knowing where to find the door.

More importantly, He sees you. To Him, you were never out of sight. Never too far gone. Never too addicted. Never too depressed. Never too scandalous. His arms remained opened wide. Ready to receive His grace-covered prodigal child.

January 25, 2017



  1. Ursula

    February 3, 2017

    Oh my “That Girl” hits home to me with my current struggles…being “sick/disabled”, “single/single Mom, and so many things but I chose daily to find my daily identity in Christ! Thank you for sharing this!


    • Kairah

      February 4, 2017

      That’s great Ursula! Keep choosing Him, He will never let you down. I’ll be praying for you.

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