Last week I had a major breakdown. It was about 2am and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. So many emotions were running though my head. I was angry, sad, frustrated and desperate for something to change. After about an hour or so of uncontrollably sobbing, I decided that it was time to pull myself together. But how? I didn’t want to wake anyone up by calling them. So, I reached for my bible and began reading. I ended up in Romans 15 and was struck by the powerful truth of verse 13.
May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. – Romans 15:13
Life isn’t always easy. In fact, sometimes it gets really hard and we find ourselves getting sucked into the darkness. Depression sneaks up on us yet again, and we feel like we’re gasping for air as the waves wage war around us. The enemy tries to convince us that these waves are insurmountable, forcing us to dig deep, hold on to Truth, and recognize his deception in order to keep ourselves from sinking.
Have you ever felt this way? Overwhelmed by all the responsibilities of life. Stressing out about exams. Fearing that your future might not actually look so bright. Worrying about your relationship status. Wondering if you have the strength to make it through the night. I’ve been there. And to those who currently find themselves there, I say:
You are going to be ok.
In my brokenness, God met me where I was. He joined me right in the middle of my mess, hyperventilating and curled up on my bed with crazy hair and a snot-covered face. Through His Word, He reminded me that He is the God of hope. He invited me to surrender all of my fears and insecurities to Him, promising to bear the weight on His shoulders (Psalm 55:22). In that moment, light broke through the darkness and I began to pray. Initially, I was praying from a place of hurt. I was being very real and open with God about how I was feeling and held nothing back. However, as my time in prayer came to an end, I found myself simply thanking God for all that He had done in my life. I had transitioned from a posture of hurt to that of healing.
As we chose to fix our eyes on Him rather than our situation, something shifts. It becomes so much easier to put our trust in Him, once we remind ourselves that He’s never let us down before. We begin to see things differently, and what was once a stumbling block becomes our stepping stone. So don’t give up, even when it feels like all is lost. Cling to the cross, trust in Him and overflow with hope. Don’t disqualify yourself, thinking that you’re too broken to approach the throne. God isn’t scared of your mess. He doesn’t mind rolling up His sleeves and getting His hands dirty, because to Him you are more than worth it!
Don’t lose hope dear friend. You are going to be just fine.